Manifesto la vie!

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Thank You Family for your continued Love and support!!!

Where to begin? This task has been haunting me since posting over a month ago. Many drafts have been started and revised and tossed out.

Well, here it is. I have been exploring the Live Food world or THE FOOD World for about 5 years now. I jumped in full speed ahead with less than 3 months of research. I knew that all the things I had been consuming and considered to be "Food" were in deed the cause for many discerning or is it disconcerting conflicts in my life.

Now after these few years of cleansing and creating I had realized about a year ago I have been depressed for over 23 years of my life now. If you put a shrink in the same room with me and a DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) they could tell you I have many cases to take a a few different prescription drugs. Each one to "help" me feel better or see things "clearer". I have had severe "Social Anxiety", Depression, Bouts of mania, Anorexia? (I eat 3-4 thousand calories in a day sometimes but the weight does not stay on, FAST metabolism). So that is off the top of my head. I gave my copy of DSM-III away last year, which included many titles of "disorders" I had many qualifications for.

So, here we are NOW! 2008 is nearing it's 3rd quarter. I am preparing to turn the "ancient" age of 34. I have committed to myself that this my 33rd year of life is the year of pure change for me. Christ was 33 when he died, I must at least realize my purpose and move towards the dreams I seek in this lifetime. Oh kay, so I have been working to do this for a few years now. Others around me have an easier time of seeing the progress than I do at times.

I realize that I have a LONG back log of verbal commitments, so many that my head swirls at night thinking about what I have left unfinished, who I may have forgotten to connect with. So, I hope and pray that all whom read this and even those who do not have let go and know it is nothing person. I just want to save the world. This I realize is a big part of what created the core of my depression in 1983. I feel the True beginning was feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, wishing that the world was a more joyful place where all humans got along and cared about the wellbeing of each other. Now I understand this as the abundance mentality.

Recently I have moved into a new home space which allows me a 5 minute walk to work/play at the kitchen. This adventure of moving in with new people has created a wonderful learning facility. Each day I am confronted by others who are not living in the abundance of life but have the power of the world in their hands. Each day I seek to share some positive insight which may have a positive impact on the lives of those around me. Our home is beautifully developing to a space where I look forward to bringing my children soon!

I realized recently the True Catalyst for the depression was denying Christ as my personal Savior and owning my actions. WE can keep repairing the roof and the walls but with out a solid foundation of Faith I am no thing. AT teh youthful age of 8 I made a True commitment to Christ to Do My Best Always and to seek first things which are praiseworthy. Around my 9th Birthday I feel is where I was challenged and failed to communicate my commitment. It has been a crazy tumbling road ever since feeling ungrounded. Just after turning 10 I was a "victim" of bizarre sexual abuse, this was a big step in the shaping of my world. Guilt, Sadness, Frustration and Low self esteem are just a few of the effects.

All of this in addition to what I realize now were the effects of "Immunization shots, Mercury, DDT and any other chemicals present in my environment like Lead and asbestos.

The purpose behind sharing all of this is reach out to anyone and everyone who may have had similar experiences. I am here. I am Joyful to be a listening ear. I know it feels GOOD just to say things and get them out in the open. I know writing this blurb has been very therapeutic.